You May Have Already Won
by Marayda
Summary: Yoruichi Shihōin had always been in his heart, but he believes he was never in hers.


**Disclaimer:** Please keep in mind that Bleach is the property of Tite Kubo and I do _not_ take credit for ownership or creation of the Bleach series.  
**Clarification:** Thoughts look like this 'thought inserted here'.  
**Authors Note:** Please read and review. Comments are highly appreciated and all criticism, constructive or not, is respected. Thank you!

**You May Have Already Won**

****Haunted figures danced around the room like ghosts as the paste colored drapes swayed with the wind and flickering moonlight. A lone figure slipped silently through the only window left unlocked.

She landed with grace on the tiled floor and quietly turned to close the window behind her gently. It would be far too cold in here already.

Golden eyes proceeded to scan the room for a comfortable place to collect herself and wait for the other occupant to stir from his slumber. She did not wish to wake him just yet; she still was not sure what to say to someone she has not seen in over a hundred years.

Spotting a worn out chair, on the right side of his ward bed, she sat and watched the man sleep from the corner of her eye as she thought of a way to mend things between them.

'Where do I even begin?' She thought sorrowfully.

Gray eyes opened slowly and stared blankly at the ceiling._He had felt her presence linger outside of his medical room for a good hour. He had tried to comply with his weary body and rest, but a strange tinge of curiosity kept him half conscious. _

_When he felt her _reiatsu flare_ up and heard the small click of the window lock he became fully aware that she had entered the room._

_"Say what you came here to say, __Shihōin Yoruichi._ I am in need of much rest." He stated coldly.

She flinched slightly at the sound of his voice, not expecting him to be awake just yet.

"Then you should be asleep Byakuya-bo." She teased, ignoring his icy tone. She got up from the chair to move to the edge of his bed.

"I find it hard to rest with a Ryoka as company and please remove yourself from my bed."

"You sincerely believe I'd do harm to an old friend Byakuya-bo?" She tilts her head as if she's curious to hear his answer.

"We were never friends and refrain from calling me that absurd name _sensei_." He glares at her as she rearranges herself in a more comfortable sitting position, with her legs crossed, facing him on the end of his bed.

She looks almost hurt at his response, but quickly covers it with a grin. "Then what were _we_ Byakuya?"

"You were the teacher and I the student. There was nothing more. If you had stayed…" He trails off and dejectedly stares past her and at the far wall. He could never keep himself completely composed in her presence and this fact angered him greatly.

"Go on," She prodded, "If I had stayed…what?"

There is a long silence, but he finally chooses the safest answer. "We _may_ have been friends."

"Tch, you are still as stubborn as ever." Yoruichi folds her arms under her chest. "We were friends and you know it." She glares at him, silently threatening him to stat otherwise.

He ignores her defiant stare and proceeds to find out the real reason she is here. "Did you have something you wish to discuss, sensei?"

"Ugh, please don't call me that! It makes me feel so old!" She wines.

"You are old." Byakuya declares.

Her noise scrunches up in irritation. "Asshole." She retorts heatedly.

"I don't recall you using such foul language." His face remains blank, but he decides to look at her face as she sends him another death glare.

"I don't recall you being such a jerk." She looks at him mockingly, her short-lived anger fading.

"Hn."

"Hn."

It was silent in the room, apart from the ticking of a clock, and Yoruichi felt herself growing uncomfortable. Byakuya's interest went back to something on the wall, to what, Yoruichi did not know. The walls were plain and white.

After a few more moments of silence Yoruichi decides that coming here was a wasted effort and prepares to leave. "I came to apologize, so I'm sorry…if…if I hurt you when we were kids." She goes to slide off his bed, but she pauses as he starts to speak.

"Stop dancing around the subject Shihōin Yoruichi." He is staring straight at her now and she turns to meet his icy, gray eyes.

"What are you getting at Kuchiki Byakuya?"

"I know why you are here and I wish to personally hear the reasons why you left." He stats coldly.

"Personally?" One delicate eyebrow lifts and she finds herself slightly bemused. Yoruichi had said what she wanted to say. Was her apology not good enough? What more could he possibly want from her? She is not in the mood to discuss the past or her past feelings.

"There are many rumors."

"I see." She ponders what kind of things he must have heard. "Which one do you believe?"

"That you and Urahara Kisuke were _lovers_." Byakuya replies too harshly for his liking.

"Is that so…" Her head turns to the window and she stares out at the night sky through the opening in the curtains. This is not what she wanted to talk about. She never wanted to talk about _this._

"It was the subject of popular gossip even before you left." He proceeds, giving her a reason for his accusation. He did not want to dig the past up, but he felt something tug at the corner of his mind. He _needed_ to know the truth and reasons for her departure all those years ago.

"And you believe it?" Yoruichi whispers softly.

"I saw it with my own eyes. Even without the hearsay I would have known it to be true." His voice is equally as soft now, but Yoruichi can still detect his irritation.

"You were mistaken then. Urahara and I have always just been close friends." Her eyes meet his again as she turns her attention from the window.

"Do not lie." His frosty voice is accusing.

"Were you jealous, Byakuya?" She keeps her voice low and leans forward to hear his answer.

"I have no need for such emotions." He plainly stats leaving his expression blank as usual.

"Now, who is the one lying?" He catches the bitterness in her voice but ignores it.

"Do not amuse yourself with those ideas in your head, Shihōin Yoruichi. I no longer think about you-"

"So you thought about me?" She cuts him off. She decides she wants to see how far she can push him before he erupts in anger. She can see it in his eyes that he is holding back.

"Do not take what I say out of context before you let me finish." Byakuya growls lowly.

"But you said-"

He cut her off with a raise of his hand. "I simply meant to say that you are now _dead_ to me."

"Dead…how can I be dead to you? I'm sitting right in front of you, barely touching your feet!" Yoruichi raises her voice. She is getting upset, but he won't stop now. He needs to say this; he needs to hurt her as much as she had hurt him.

"_Yoruichi,_ be quiet. Let me speak." He snaps.

"Don't you dare tell me -"

"_Yoruichi,"_ He interrupts her retort, "You were my sensei- nothing more. And while I valued your lessons, I did not care for your scrutiny on nobility. I considered a friendship, that is true, and maybe we did have one, but beyond that there was nothing. I did not care when I found out you left. You meant little to me. You were replaceable." As soon as the words left his mouth he wished he could take them back. They were hardly true and he knew he had hurt her when she looked away as if she had been slapped. Getting the reaction he had wanted out of her did not seem so important now that she was not even looking at him.

His words tugged painfully at Yoruichi's heart. The ache couldn't be compared to anything she had ever felt before. She just could not believe it. "You're lying." She whispers as she looks to the window again.

"Yoruichi…why do you insist on indicating that there was something else between us?" He already knows the answer, but he wants her to say it. He wants her to admit that she is just here to taunt him because she knows how he had felt when they were younger.

"Don't pretend you stopped caring just because I abandoned you and your training. I had to make a difficult decision and either way I would have hurt you. I left without saying a word because I knew I would not be able to say goodbye. I left because it would have been worse, for you and everyone else if I had stayed. I _cared_ for you, even if you did not care for me. I did what was best for you and Soul Society, Byakuya."

"I'm afraid I don't understand. Please explain to me why it was best _this_ way?"

"If I had stayed, we would have been married. There was a pact between my clan and yours that would have had us wed the day after you became captain. Our clans would have combined, and the shame I brought to my clan would also be on yours if I had stayed. I would not abandon my promise to Urahara Kisuke no matter what and being a traitor outside of Soul Society is a lot easier than being one within. I would have done far worse damage if I had stayed, especially to you." Yoruichi stands up after her confession and goes to Byakuya's side.

"Why is Urahara Kisuke so important that you would throw your life away so carelessly?" He speaks softly to her, knowing that the conversation has become very delicate. He still has not heard what he wants to hear and he does not wish to scare her away just yet.

"It wasn't just Urahara, it was Soul Society. Protecting Soul Society was worth throwing my life away. If I had not, Kisuke would be dead and Aizen would have destroyed everything long ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were too young, you would not have understood."

"Don't lie, that is not the reason."

"Then Byakuya, what reason would you like to hear?"

"The truth."

He can see the hesitation in her eyes and when he thinks she is about to runaway she stares him dead in the eye, and whispers so softly he can barely hear her. "I wanted to protect you…I…I loved you. Is that what you wanted to hear, because that is the _truth_?"

Byakuya groans at the immense pain burning through his entire being as he tries to sit up.

"Yorui…chi…"

"Fool!" She shouts, "You're going to reopen your wounds!"

He doesn't take her advice and tries to lift himself off the bed. Yoruichi quickly snakes her arm around his back to assist him. He shoves her arm away and stands shakily beside her.

"I don't need you to coddle me." He declares almost sarcastically.

Yoruichi is still shaken up from her confession, but she does not show it as she tenderly smiles at him. "Then don't blame me for any pain you bring upon yourself."

She feels his hand take hers and he gently pulls it up to his lips and leaves a ghostly kiss on her palm. "Yoruichi…I never stopped loving you." He whispers softly.

Byakuya hears her sharp intake of breath and knows that he might have gone too far, but she collects herself quickly.

"What about Hisana?" She asks dejectedly. He is shocked for a moment, but he does not let it slip onto his features.

"I loved her as well, but she has passed away. She may be in my heart Yoruichi, but you were there first." He gives her hand a squeeze.

"Byakuya…" She smiles at him again and this is the second time he has ever seen her smile so lightheartedly. Her smiles had always been so mischievously or filled with laughter, but it has been years and he knows she has had a difficult life. He returns the smile when he hears her speak softly. "I missed you."

"Yoruichi?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going back…to Urahara?"

"Yes." She answers without hiding the sadness in her voice.

"When?" Byakuya's heart falls and he becomes irritated at himself for being hopeful.

"Tomorrow…"

"Will you come back?"

"I'll be making regularly visits. Ji-san wants me to keep an eye on things in the Human World until this war is over. When it's all said and done I may be placed back in a squad if I choose to stay in Soul Society permanently, but…I..don't think I'm up for it."

He does not know what to say or if he should say anything so he remains silent.

"I guess I'll see you around Byakuya-bo." Yoruichi goes to leave, but is stopped by his tight grip around her wrist.

"What are you doing, Byakuya?"

"Why must you keep running from everything, Yoruichi?

"I stopped running a long time ago, but if you are ever up for a game of tag I'll stop by the manor the next time I'm here for a visit." She tries to changes the subject, but she knows she has failed.

"I have yet to beat you at a game of tag, Yoruichi. I simply cannot catch you." Yoruichi hears the serious tone in his voice and decides trying to joke around is not the best course of action.

"Byakuya."

"Yes?"

"You caught me a long time ago. You already won my heart." And with that said she flashed stepped out of the room and disappeared. Even if she did not say it directly she had given him the answer he had waited almost 100 years to hear.

Yourichi Shinion had loved and still loved him.

And he would always love her.

**Authors Note:** I would really appreciate some helpful criticism! This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction and I don't think I am that great. I really want to improve so I can post stories you will want to read. I'm also searching for a BETA reader for all my Byakuya x Yoruichi stories. Please note me if you're interested! Comments are highly appreciated and all criticism, constructive or not, is respected. Thank you!


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